Of all of the little boys…


January 16, 2013 by CassieCravings


The Day I became his mother

Of all of the little boys…

I prayed for my son Elijah for years. I poured over 1 Samuel. I grasped at Hannah’s promise for a son. My hands would tremble as I touched every word and clung to the hope that I would one day have a child of my own.

I cannot count how many times I cried with my palms pressed upwards, whispering, “God, I give it to you. I pray for Your will and not mine.” I cannot count how many times I cried with fists clenched, screaming, “Have you forgotten me?” Through my wavering faith, however, God continued to gently tell me, “Just wait.”

And I waited.

Now I sit silently, without moving, barely breathing to watch my son. He will be 3 this spring. He is silly and gentle. He is loving and energetic. He is adventurous and cautious. His innocence and sense of freedom is magical. He is telling me a fantastic tale of a dragon and a pirate. His face lights up and his voice quickens as he his adventure unwinds. He dances and paces. He giggles and drops into my lap. He sighs contently. I do the same.

Suddenly it hits me that this is the exact spot on our bed that I said so many prayers for him, that I cried so many tears for my son.

I turn him so that our noses nearly touch. His curls are disheveled. His face is flushed. His eyes are glistening.

I take his hands as I try not to cry, “Little Bear, Out of all of the little boys in this whole world, I am so thankful that God gave me you.”

He rests his head on my chest, “I happy you’s my mama too.”

I’m glad he can’t see my face. I quickly wipe away the tears.

I silently thank God for turning my tears to joy.




33 thoughts on “Of all of the little boys…

  1. boomiebol says:

    Oh you break my heart with this… I so get it. May God keep him, cause his gracious face to shine on him and grant him peace now and always.

    He will lead his generation and bring joy always to his family. May the joy of his birth and life grow always. In Jesus name, Amen

    You warmed my heart with this

    • mamacravings says:

      Boomie, you are making me cry. Thank you so much for your prayer and kinds words for my son. God’s plan for him is mighty.

      He was certainly worth those years of wait ❤

  2. paula frazier says:

    just wait ❤
    love. 🙂

  3. Staci Smith says:

    Casi I remember when your mom told me “we” were going to have a baby…oh the joy I felt, I was so happy for you. Lil Eli is such a joy…love you both.

  4. Very warming 🙂 thanks for sharing

  5. cupcakelion says:

    Beautiful 🙂 made me cry a little but mostly made me feel warm & fuzzy. A mothers love is the strongest force on earth.

  6. Mia says:

    This is so beautiful. It took me back to when I had miscarriages and felt it was never gonna happen for us yet prayed in earnest nonetheless. Your post was so touching and memorable from my personal experience that it made me cry. God bless your little boy!

    • mamacravings says:

      Thank you so much! We have experienced several miscarriages as well. I found that losing my babies had me stuck between hopeless and hopeful. It is an indescribable feeling.

      Thank you so much for sharing your story with me ❤

  7. Julie says:

    How often have I said similar words to my own daughter. I didn’t give birth to her, but I waited many years before God opened the door to adoption. I was 43 when she came into my life. And of all the little girls in the world, I am so glad God gave her to me.

    • mamacravings says:

      A precious student of mine comes from a family with a few biological kids and few adopted kids. Her mother used to say to her, “Sometimes God plants a baby in the mother’s womb. Sometimes God plants a baby in the mother’s heart”

  8. Beautiful words! Beautiful how you express what we went through before God blessed us with our son 🙂

  9. I have flu, that’s my excuse for the tears pouring lol so beuatiful. I am so glad you got your boy to love 🙂

  10. That made me cry. My husband and I miscarriage twice, We almost lost Junior and I feel the same way, Your son is blessed.

    • mamacravings says:

      We have had several miscarriages. It has been a struggle and definitely heart breaking. I went into pre-term labor at 30 weeks with Eli. Praise God I was able to carry him to 37 weeks 1 day.

      We are very blessed with our kiddos.

  11. Papa says:

    Same thing happened to me.

  12. It was simply meant to be. You’ve got me misty-eyed like everyone else here. I know your feelings as well. 🙂

  13. This is beautiful and touching! Thanks so much for visiting my blog! ~Hannah

  14. I’m so happy you got your little boy. A mama’s love is an amazing thing. Thanks for linking up to the Pin It Proudly Link party last week. I can’t wait to see what you link up this week.

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