August 19, 2013 by mamacravings
He said that I have an interesting case.
I’ve heard it before, but it’s never easy to hear. I blinked back my tears and asked questions. I didn’t think about the answers. That would have to wait. I would wait until I was in my car. I would go over every note. And I would cry then. But not here, not in the office.
“Your combined issues of infertility and multiple miscarriages are troubling,” the doctor continued. We sat in his over-sized office. A grand desk separated us. Photos of his beautiful wife and beautiful children smiled reassuringly back at me. I looked down at my wringing hands.
“This isn’t impossible. In fact, I know that we can get you a healthy baby.”
My eyes locked on his. I watched him carefully. I had been to 4 different doctors/specialists before him. None of them made such a bold claim. There was always a lot of shrugging and shoulder patting, a lot of uncertainty, a lot of sympathy for “my situation.”
I didn’t speak. I waited for him to go on. I didn’t breathe.
“I have some ideas. We’ll start you on Clomid and Ovidrel to treat the infertility. It’s going to be a lot of tests and a lot of travelling. Once you are pregnant, I want to try blood thinners. I think this is your problem carrying. We’ll confirm it with tests. But I think a shot a day will keep you pregnant.”
I breathed again. I would take 10 shots a day…maybe not bravely, but I would do it to have a baby in my arms.
He smiled at me, confidently and warmly. And I believed him. This was a plan that was different than any of the others. This was a plan with some answers. I dared to hope.
That appointment was about 6 weeks ago. Since then, I have been in that same office nearly half a dozen times. Each appointment was accompanied with a 6 hour round trip drive. It seems as if when I wasn’t in his office, I was at the lab. Test after test, procedure after procedure, pill after pill after shot after pill.
I am still an interesting case. There are no definite answers. But there is a plan. This journey continues slowly, cautiously and always with hope.