3 Things Not to Say to a Family having ANOTHER boy
16August 22, 2016 by CassieCravings
My husband and I are so excited to be having another boy! We are equally excited to celebrate the news with those around us. Every chance I get, I tell people that we’re having a boy. The response has been overwhelmingly joyous and sometimes a bit odd. Those comments have left us laughing at…well, how people can say some really odd things.
Here are some of the more frequent and oddest comments and questions we have received.
1. Are you disappointed?
Gender disappointment is very real. I honestly didn’t have a preference to the sex of the baby. However, it’s best to skip this question in case a family is trying to wrap their head around disappointment. This has been the only question that made me cringe a bit, not for my personal experience, but thinking of mamas who are bummed about the gender.
2. Well, I guess you’ll just have to try again.
This comment has only been made by people who don’t know our story, and that’s completely fair. I certainly don’t expect others to know that we tried for 4 years for this baby or to know that this is my 8th pregnancy. There isn’t any “just” in our trying. When hearing this, I just move the conversation forward. It is said in an upbeat, jovial tone, and I take it as such. That being said, inserting yourself into a family’s personal family planning is just a bit…well, personal.
3.Will you try for a girl?/Will you adopt a girl?
This comment has been really prevalent with loved ones and strangers alike. It goes back to the personal family planning thingy, but I find this one to be less odd. Perhaps because it’s a question instead of a statement, a curiosity instead of an opinion.
Our personal answer: I doubt that we will be trying again for a biological child. The fact that we have been able to conceive and then carry a child is nothing short of a miracle. It has been an incredible journey with a lot of celebration and a lot of anxiety. When we do adopt for our third child, we will not limit our options to one gender. We will be thrilled with a girl or with another boy.
Announcing that we are having another boy has been very exciting and quite entertaining. We are so blessed to have such an outpouring of love for our family as we prepare to welcome our son into the world.
While this is a silly and lighthearted post, it’s always important to consider that our words have impact. There’s no stage in life quite like pregnancy that invites both loved ones and strangers to comment on your life.
Are you looking for some alternative comments? Here are 3 things to say to a family who found out that they’re having ANOTHER boy:
- Congrats!
- What a blessing!
- X will make an amazing big brother!
Congrats, Mama! And, I agree. It’s amazing [and weird] how comfortable some people seem to be commenting on an individual’s family planning. Our announcements were most often met with “AGAIN?” by friends and family and strangers alike.
Thank you so much! Ahh, yes. People are bizarre. Most of the time it’s because excitement has bubbled over so much that it’s turned weird.
I also agree wholeheartedly with you that it’s important to accept the comment in the spirit it’s intended. It isn’t always easy, but it’s always the best practice.
Absolutely! I completely agree!
I like this a lot. I’m on my third boy (due today actually!). My husband has 3 brothers, and even though HIS dad and grandpa have sisters everyone assumes boys are my lot in life and can be very vocal about it. I don’t care if we only have boys, God is the one who controls that, but it does crush me a little each time I have to put on an extra cheery face and proclaim sovereignty as queen of my household to try and show that their careless words don’t hurt me, even though they often do. People almost always mean well in these cases, but can be unknowingly and terribly insensitive. Sigh…
Anyway, congrats momma! I know you and your family are super excited!
So excited for your BABY, Casi! Any life is a blessing.
You should have heard the comments I got when our fourth girl was born!
Thank you!! Oh, I can just imagine!
Well put. Much love. x
I love that you try to take the comments in the light-hearted way they’re intended – it can be so difficult sometimes. Good for you for being so gracious about them all!
Absolutely! Most of the time people are trying to share in the joy, even if they are being a bit awkward. So, I try to laugh it off. 🙂
I have two boys 16 months apart, so I can relate 🙂 And even mow my youngest is 3 people still ask me if we will be adding a girl to the family soon lol
What a blessing! Yep, yep. I’m getting asked the same….before the 2nd boy is even here! lol
Both my genders were surprises. I couldnt stand to know. Just not my personality. That said, I was convinced we were having another boy. We have a girl. Which was a lovely surprise. No disappointments whatsoever. But like you said, some people have genuine disappointment. Will never understand that, considering what many families – like yours – go through to have another baby. Just seems like GRATITUDE should be the only thing on someone’s mind. However, we are all different, and compassion is a must. x
I am a bit shocked to se that people really say those things! To have a baby. A child. There is a miracle in itself. Who cares about the gender. I just can not understand how people think. Or NOT think… Congrats to you!!!!!!!!
People are weirdos. I am shocked at what they say, especially strangers in the grocery line. Thank you so much!
We have two daughters, and medical reasons kept us from a third child. I have to confess I was quite disappointed not to have a son, but the Lord reminded me that He could raise up “sons for Abraham” out of stones! I do have several very real spiritual sons, who are an encouragement (and occasionally a trial) to me. On the other hand, our younger daughter only has sons, and she loves it! Blessings on you and your brood, whatever gender!