March 28, 2017 by mamacravings
Nearly 3 months ago I had a stroke. Before then, I thought myself to be resilient, persistent and unwavering in my faith. After the stroke I know these things to be true.
Recovery has been difficult. These short months have been the longest that I have yet to experience. Every day is mountain after mountain to climb, goal after goal to meet. It is an ongoing search to find the me I once was and an ongoing realization that I am so much stronger than I ever was before.
In my life, there has never been such a clash of emotions. Frustration and gratefulness continue to collide in the same moments. My thoughts run from being frustrated at how tired I am at simple tasks such as walking half a mile. Then I have the thrill of being able to move my feet for an entire half a mile.
I have heard others say that I am inspiring. That suggests that sharing my story had altruistic motivation. The reality is that I began to share my story because of my cravings for encouragement and my need for reassurance. You have generously provided both over and over again. When I am at my lowest, my most tired, my sickest, you continue to tell me that I can do it. You believe it before I do. I continue to move forward because you tell me that I can.
Several weeks ago I had a setback and ended up back in the hospital for over two weeks. Even though I didn’t write, your love continued to flow to me. Messages and comments and cards continued to make their way to me.
How do I say “thank you” for such a thing? How do I express gratefulness for moving my feet forward when I didn’t have the ability to do so myself or when I was too frightened at what might happen if I try and fail. I suppose that there aren’t enough words for such a thing. Even though my “thank you” is far from enough, I am proclaiming it loudly and genuinely.
Thank you. Thank you for encouraging my family and for encouraging me. You have truly inspired us throughout this recovery. Without you, I couldn’t recover as I have.